Yes Drill Sargeant!!!

Tonight I start Boot Camp. Yes, you read correctly. BOOT CAMP. I am a wreck with nerves but I know that this is truly what I need at the moment. The last 2 weeks have been a bit of a disaster for me. Not with food, just life in general. I got a letter from my doctor saying that another blood test result had come back and it was abnormal so I needed to have a catscan done of my kidneys (apparently this hormone is made in the adrenal glands which are on the kidneys - who knew?!). So I was rather panicked about that. It then took me weeks to get an appointment with the endocrinologist that my gyno had referred me to. So it had been a rather stressful few weeks as apparently one of the causes of this hormone level being high is a tumour on the adrenal gland. Thankfully there was nothing there, but that meant there was no explanation for the level of hormone that was present. What can I say, I like to keep people guessing!! Unlike the gyno though, the endocrinologist thinks I should go on medication, but we're going to keep going for a month or 2 and see if I can lose weight before we make that decision. But basically in that time I've just been losing and gaining the same half kilo which needless to say is driving me mental.

So I came to a conclusion. I have 7 weeks (slightly less now) until we go on our cruise meaning I have 7 week to get my body back to a state I am comfortable with. I needed something with a definite timeline. I needed something to commit to. So boot camp seemed like the logical (although slightly insane!) choice. 3 nights a week for an hour I will be put through my paces in a bid to get me feeling somewhat comfortable in a pair of togs. I might not be able to get to a size 10 by the end of this, but if I can just get down to where I was a year ago, I know I'll feel a whole lot better and that is about 7kg away. A tough ask, but I've got to give it my best shot. I got sick of the cruise being 12 weeks away, 10 weeks away, 8 weeks away.....and me not really doing anything about it. Sure, I was still exercising, still doing the spin classes etc. but I needed a shake up. And I'm not sure I can think of anything better to give me a complete mind and body shake up! I need someone to yell at me to do things (well, maybe not yell AT me per se, I don't take kindly to people being so in my face and I'm likely to yell back!!!) and I need people to do it with. I need to do something completely out of my comfort zone, for the sake of my body and mind. I need to do things that I never do, boxing, interval training etc. Things that are going to make my body say 'holy shit, what the hell is going on?!', followed by the (hopefully) inevitable weight loss and muscle gain.

So wish me luck, and if you don't hear from me again, just assume I collapsed in a heap!!!

Finally!!!

I don't know how long it's been since I've had decent losses, suffice to say that it's been a bloody long time!!! But I weighed in this week to show a loss of 2kg. That's over the last 2 weeks as I couldn't get to my meeting last week, but I don't care!

I think the reason for this is the big change I've made to my diet recently. After my diagnosis I went and saw a traditional Chinese medicine clinic. She recommended that I ditch yeast, dairy and nuts from my diet and that certainly seems to have helped. I'm not bloated like I used to be every second day, I feel better, I feel lighter. I have no problems ditching the yeast and the nuts (there's a sourdough bakery down the road from work that doesn't use yeast as proper sourdough shouldn't), but I'm realising that I actually ate a lot more dairy than I thought I did. I can't commit to drinking soy milk on my cereal as I've always thought it was vile, so I'm going with rice milk for that. I am drinking flavoured soy milk though, which is delicious. Soy yoghurt and ice cream however are a different story...surely the manufacturers of these products have worked out a way to get them to taste at least slightly similar to the real thing by now?! The yoghurt I can probably get used to, but I think ice cream will be out for me for some time!

I think another factor in all of this is that I have been so focussed on getting myself well that I'm not overly thinking about weight loss. I had a call from my doctor the other day telling me that she was concerned about a blood test result that had just come back and she wanted me to have a catscan done of my adrenal glands. She doesn't think it's anything serious (possible explanations for the blood test results are a cyst or tumour on the adrenal gland) but they just want to make sure - she thinks with the levels I have that it's just a case of my body making a bit too much of a particular hormone. But in all this I think I have just come to realise that there really is a bigger picture, and my health is more important than weight loss alone. The good thing is though that focussing on getting myself healthy will in turn make me lose weight, so it's really a win/win situation!

So all in all, I am now back over the 30kg lost mark! I was so happy to realise that, it's been a long time since I was there, and I can't wait to get back over 35kg like I was last year!

D Day looming large

So tomorrow is WI day. And I'm feeling ok about it. Whether I've lost weight or not, I'm not sure, but I know my waist measurement has gone down 3cm in just a week!!! Maybe killing myself at the gym last week was just taking a little while to let me enjoy the fruits of my labour!

I have been exercising really well, but a little less (and differently) than last week. I came up with a theory that I'll exercise like a mad woman 1 week, and go a little less crazy the following, just to give my body a bit of recuperation time. Don't get me wrong, I still killed the calories this week, but I didn't exercise for as long each session which will hopefully make a difference.

I had my appointment with the specialist yesterday and she all but confirmed PCOS. She really allayed my fears though, as she said that I certainly didn't require surgery and that it would not stand in the way of me becoming pregnant. She did say that it might take a little longer, but it also might not, I was just going to have to see what happens really. And if it did prove difficult, there was medication they could give me to make sure I ovulate each month....though it does increase the chances of multiple births which I must admit scared the shit out of me!!! I had a blood test this morning just to check the levels of glucose and testosterone and all the other things that will confirm the diagnosis, and I will see her again next week. If the tests do confirm that, I'll be on medication for the rest of my life basically. But a small price to pay if I don't have to have surgery and I can still get pregnant. The medication will also make it easier for me to lose weight too, and I'm ashamed to say that I'm not upset about that at all!

Taking it easy today as we went and saw AC/DC last night. Didn't get home until after midnight and we have to get up at 6am so not much sleep for us. Combine that with the fact that it was about 35 degrees last night and I must have only had 4 hours sleep. I know there are people who could get by on that for just a day, but I'm a strict at least 8 hours a night kinda gal! My husband said that he would be happy if he was half as fit as Angus is at his age - I said I'd like to be half as fit at my age now!!! The man is incredible. Covered in sweat, it was 40 degrees, under lights and he's running around the stage like a maniac. Some younger 'bands' could learn a thing or 2 from these guys.

So fingers crossed for tomorrow, I shall report back then!

Try, try, try again

Ok so not a great result at weigh in yesterday, but not completely disastrous. I stayed exactly the same. Considering the amount of work I'd put in last week, I wasn't exactly thrilled but when I spoke to my leader she suggested that I eat just a couple of exercise points each day (as did the lovely ladies on the WW message boards!), even if that means just a handful of almonds, an extra egg at brekky or something similar and see how I go next week. She thinks that I could be earning as many as 10 or 12 bonus points each time I go to the gym, which is an awful lot and my body doesn't quite know what's going on. I really enjoyed the exercise and the hard work last week, and I'm happy to keep going with that so I'm in no danger of chucking in the towel! I'd better have something to show for it next week though!!!

Hubby and I are going on a cruise with some friends in just over 3 months and I would really love to get 10kg off by then. I don't expect to be parading around in a bikini, but I would like to look nice in a swimsuit and I have a gorgeous dress in my wardrobe that would be perfect for the more formal occasions on the ship. I bought it a few months ago as it very nearly fit (and was on special and absolutely gorgeous!!!) and I had every intention of it fitting by now, however my lazy self got in the way of that! I know if I can lose just 6 or 7kg by then, it will fit but 10kg would be optimum. I would love to be able to post some pictures here of myself in it so that's what I'm aiming for! I also started taking my measurements again last night, so at least if the scales aren't cooperating, I can have that to look at and see that things are moving.

So it's back to the drawing board this week. I'm oddly enough still feeling really positive as I can at least see the change in the tone and shape of my legs from all the bloody cycling, so I know that things are going in the right direction. In times like these, I like to quote from the classic movie.......Finding Nemo! Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming! Strangely, it seems to keep me going!!

This had better pay off!!!

I just came to the realisation that when I go to the gym after work, it will be the 7th time out of the last 8 days that I have been. And the only reason I missed 1 day was because I had a family dinner to go to, otherwise it would have been 8 straight! I don't think I have been this committed with my exercise since the very start of my WW journey. I have done 3 spin classes (with another to come tonight), 2 pump classes, a weights session, and a heap of cardio on the machines. Since I go straight after work and get to the gym about 5, and my classes don't start until 6 or 6:15, I get in a good 45 minutes of cardio beforehand as well, so by the time I leave, my heart rate monitor tells me I've burned in the vicinity of 1000 calories. Seriously, this hard work had better pay off when I weigh in on Wednesday!!!

I had a bit of a delusional moment on Saturday night. Hubby and I went to see Valentines Day (not because we celebrate it, we had cheap tickets!) and I decided that I'd like to end up with a body like Jessica Biel's.........what the hell was I thinking?!?! And the crazy thing is, that my lovely, equally deluded (but very supportive husband!) thinks that I could actually achieve it! So that's my goal now. Maybe not to end up looking exactly like her, but to try my hardest to get as close as I humanly possibly can. She's one of few actresses these days, who while she is very slim, is still very athletic and quite muscular, and no matter what I do, I will always have a muscular build so I may as well aim high huh??? Good thing I plan on spending the next 10 days straight at the gym I would say!

Bugger

Well after having a great first week back to WW where I lost 1.5kg, the following week wasn't so successful and I literally gained all of it back for no explicable reason. I tracked every day, I exercised, I have no idea what happened. But today I lost 0.7kg, that's at least something.

I think I have really had a change in attitude over the last 2 days. I've realised that for me, my WW journey was never really a psychological one. The reason I gained weight wasn't that I comfort ate, or anything like that. I simply like really good food and wine. So from now on the rest of my journey will be purely a physical one. No more whinging that I don't want to go to the gym. No more telling myself that I deserve a piece (or block!) of chocolate because I've been soooo good. No more giving up on the treadmill, or spin bike, or pump class, because it hurts, or because I'm tired. Every time I feel that, or think that, I'm going to yell at myself to just bloody well keep going! I'm going to tell myself that I'm still overweight, I still have a long way to go, and just to get on with it!!! I'm angry but in a good way if that makes sense. It's an anger I can use to my benefit every time I feel defeated in some way. The next series of WW at work runs for 20 weeks, and I have just over 17kg to go. I would love to think I could get rid of that before the end of this series, but even if I can't, as long as I did literally everything I could do, I'll be satisfied.

So back to the gym tonight (for the 3rd time this week - not bad considering it's Wednesday!) for another spin class. If it gets tough, I'll keep going. If my legs hurt, I'll keep going. I am sick and tired of being in limbo land with my weight, and I refuse to do it any longer! God, I sound like I'm about to break out into 'I am woman, hear me roar'!! But if that's what it takes, no matter how stupid I look, maybe I'll just do it!!!

I'm baaaaaaaack!!!!

Ok, so it's been way too long since I wrote on this blog. A lot of time has passed, and a lot of stuff has happened. So I guess I'll start at the beginning of all of it.

I got to within 9kg of being at goal, and then things went haywire. I plateaued BIG TIME. Nothing budged for months. After months of frustration, all of a sudden I wasn't being overly careful of what I ate. I was still exercising like a mad woman, even competing in a few fun runs, including the 9km Bridge Run. I wasn't bingeing, I wasn't being ridiculous with what I ate, but a couple of kilos managed to find their way back to me. I tried to reign them in, but again nothing budged. Then my hubby and I went to Europe for 6 weeks in December/January on a much waited for and anticipated trip. Europe was the coldest it's been in December for quite some time so needless to say salads weren't on the menu! I ate and ate and ate....French cheeses and pastries, German sausages and beer, British fish and chips, you name it we ate it. We did a river cruise for a week and they may as well have strapped a feed bag onto us, I even ate 3 desserts one day!!! We walked everywhere, sometimes 30,000 steps a day but it wasn't enough to keep a few more kilos at bay, and I was prepared for that.

So on my return to work, I started to get serious again. Back to the gym, back to eating well (which I was more than ready to do after eating stodgy food for 6 weeks!) and back to getting my attitude back in the right frame of mind. I had done all these things until a routine doctors visit nearly 2 weeks ago put me in a spin. I was sent for an ultrasound and discovered that I may have polycystic ovarian syndrome. The only good thing to come out of it is that I may have learned why it's been so hard for me to lose more weight over the last year, but it has really hit me for 6. But I haven't let it throw me off course. I am still at the gym, probably going harder at it than I have for quite some time. I'm still eating really well, and am actually following the WW menus which is something I've never done, and finding it really easy. I have to see a specialist in a couple of weeks to determine exactly what the problem is and how to fix it, but I certainly have an added incentive to stay on track now, knowing that I potentially could have this problem. Even if it isn't POCS, I still have cysts there meaning it may be harder for me to have kids, and knowing that weight is a factor in that gives me extra motivation.

So I'm back here, knowing that penning (or typing as the case may be) my thoughts is one of the best ways I keep myself on track and going in the right direction. I have just over 17kg to go to get to goal, and this time I'm bloody well determined to do it!