Mindset. A word you hear an awful lot on the 12WBT. A word I never truly understood the meaning of until recently. And something I never realised I needed to take a look at for myself. Until recently. Something has shifted in the last week. I realised that perhaps I'm not as unemotional about food and my weight as I thought. I'm not an emotional eater, that's not what I mean. I don't get sad and instantly crack out the chocolate. But I've realised that I live to eat. I love good food. And pretty much all social occasions I'm involved with or organise myself, revolve around food. That has to change. I've also realised how truly depressed and unhappy about my weight and the way I look I actually am. And enough is enough. I don't deserve to feel this way about myself. No one does. I'm sick of the roller coaster I've been on for the last 4/5 years. This time this is it. I'm getting to goal weight and never looking back! I'm sick of losing weight, getting near goal weight, but then plateauing and putting some back on, only to start the process again. I am sick of being overweight. I am sick of trying to lose weight. All. The. God. Damn. Time. I want to be someone who simply has to maintain weight...you know, like a normal person does!
I took my before photo last night to upload to the website. Wow. Talk about confronting. I felt uncomfortable standing in front of my husband getting him to take a photo (stupid considering I have no problem with him seeing me naked but standing there was soooo different). I felt uncomfortable looking at the photo. I looked horrible. My face was fine. My collar bone area fine. But my stomach, hips and legs....oh my god. I knew it was bad but staring at myself in just about all my glory was a very mind altering moment. I don't want to look like this anymore and I'm damned if I'm not going to give this my all to make sure I don't.
So we are now in Round 4 of the 12WBT (my second round) and I've set my goal at 10kg for these 12 weeks. 10kg takes me to just below the lightest weight I got to with weight watchers a few years back. It takes me well below my pre pregnancy weight (a beacon to those of us who have children!) and it takes me to within 8kg of my goal weight. So far, so good. I've exercised as I'm meant to, I've eaten as I'm meant to. I love the food on the nutrition plans. It's very easy to stick to for me. The important thing is to get myself firmly stuck in a routine for the gym for which so far, I am winning the battle! I'm determined to lose weight, but more importantly, change the shape of my body completely and ain't nothing gonna get in my way this time!
21 November 2012
13 November 2012
Back in the swing of things
Ok, so this is the last week of Round 3 of the 12WBT. And I've finally gotten back into the swing of things. Only took me 6 weeks! Sickness and holiday really took it's toll on me and I have no one to blame but myself. And I'm soooo pissed off with myself about it. But, what's done is done and I can't change it now. What I can change is how I have approached the final week and a half going into Round 4 which I have already signed up for.
Firstly, I have been near on angelic with my diet. Yes, I've had a bit of chocolate, but I had the calories left over that I needed, so I didn't blow my allowance. Secondly, I have been absolutely angelic with my exercise plan! I went to the gym Wednesday night, aforementioned spin Thursday, did a 2 hour walk on Friday (was planning on gymming it but for some reason my usually quiet suburban street was in a traffic jam thanks to some road closures and I couldn't get there!), Saturday we walked to a nearby fair and then to a local play centre (about 2 hours pushing a pram on grass...8kg pram and a 15kg toddler = good workout!) and then Sunday I did the Super Saturday Session. Given that was the first one I've done properly in weeks, man did I feel it!
Week 12 officially kicked off yesterday and I did it in style. Pump class in the morning, followed by the plan Michelle had set out in the evening. Wow. I was feeling it! And as part of my new found determination, I've decided that I will get up Tuesday and Thursday at stupid o'clock to do my toning program at the gym. Whilst I'm not a lover of being up that early, or morning exercise, it's certainly better for my lifestyle than being at the gym 5 weeknights a week. I was even there this morning before they opened!!! I had my clothes set out last night, lunch was made, breakfast was all sorted as I would be getting back a bit later than I would normally start getting ready for work...there were no excuses! And you know what, I feel pretty bloody proud of myself for doing it! But right now....oh the pain!!!! Radox bath needed URGENTLY I would think!!!!!
I am a bridesmaid at my sis in laws wedding in just under 4 weeks and I'd like to think that I can lose 5kg by then. If I can do that, I won't be too far off the slimmest I got down to when I first did weight watchers and I know I looked pretty good then. I don't know if I can sustain this kind of intensity for 12 weeks, so I'm breaking it down. Just do it for 4 weeks, then reassess. Makes it feel a lot more achievable.
So all in all, I'm feeling pretty positive about it all. I know this program works. I didn't give it my all and I still lost 6kg. Who knows what I'm capable of if I actually put my mind, body and soul 100% into it!
Firstly, I have been near on angelic with my diet. Yes, I've had a bit of chocolate, but I had the calories left over that I needed, so I didn't blow my allowance. Secondly, I have been absolutely angelic with my exercise plan! I went to the gym Wednesday night, aforementioned spin Thursday, did a 2 hour walk on Friday (was planning on gymming it but for some reason my usually quiet suburban street was in a traffic jam thanks to some road closures and I couldn't get there!), Saturday we walked to a nearby fair and then to a local play centre (about 2 hours pushing a pram on grass...8kg pram and a 15kg toddler = good workout!) and then Sunday I did the Super Saturday Session. Given that was the first one I've done properly in weeks, man did I feel it!
Week 12 officially kicked off yesterday and I did it in style. Pump class in the morning, followed by the plan Michelle had set out in the evening. Wow. I was feeling it! And as part of my new found determination, I've decided that I will get up Tuesday and Thursday at stupid o'clock to do my toning program at the gym. Whilst I'm not a lover of being up that early, or morning exercise, it's certainly better for my lifestyle than being at the gym 5 weeknights a week. I was even there this morning before they opened!!! I had my clothes set out last night, lunch was made, breakfast was all sorted as I would be getting back a bit later than I would normally start getting ready for work...there were no excuses! And you know what, I feel pretty bloody proud of myself for doing it! But right now....oh the pain!!!! Radox bath needed URGENTLY I would think!!!!!
I am a bridesmaid at my sis in laws wedding in just under 4 weeks and I'd like to think that I can lose 5kg by then. If I can do that, I won't be too far off the slimmest I got down to when I first did weight watchers and I know I looked pretty good then. I don't know if I can sustain this kind of intensity for 12 weeks, so I'm breaking it down. Just do it for 4 weeks, then reassess. Makes it feel a lot more achievable.
So all in all, I'm feeling pretty positive about it all. I know this program works. I didn't give it my all and I still lost 6kg. Who knows what I'm capable of if I actually put my mind, body and soul 100% into it!
09 November 2012
Oh spin class....
How I had forgotten what a torturous beast you can be! First spin class in a looooong time. One word. Ouch. That is all.
08 November 2012
Long time no see...
Well, it seems as though it has been 2 years, 2 months and 19 days since I last posted. Whoops. I contemplated starting an entirely new blog, but then realised that a lot of my weight loss history, the ups and downs, are all here and I wanted to keep everything together.
A lot has changed in those 2 years, 2 months and 19 days. Last post I mentioned I was pregnant. Well that pregnancy is now a nearly 20 month old beautiful boy! He is the absolute light of my life and I truly can't imagine life without him. I wonder all the time what I used to do to fill my days before he came along!!!
There were a lot of reasons I stopped blogging. Mainly, it was a weight loss blog and being pregnant I obviously wasn't going to be doing any of that! But another reason was a lot of the personal turmoil I went through during my pregnancy. When I was about 20 weeks, my husband and I separated. Thankfully we got back together not long after and remain so now, but the reasons behind it completely threw me and changed everything about the way I felt about myself. I felt I wasn't good enough, I felt I didn't deserve to be happy, to be fit and slim. Whilst I didn't gain that much during the pregnancy itself (maybe 10kg and a lot of that was fluid....I was still puffy 2 weeks after his birth!!), the year of maternity leave took its toll. I was home alone with a baby that didn't like to sleep much during the day (thank god he did of a night, small mercies!) and felt like I was worthless as anything other than a mother. In that year I gained a further 7kg. It's taken me a really long time to get to the point where I finally feel that I do bloody well deserve to be happy in my own skin and I deserve to look good! It's also taken me a really long time to leave the mummy guilt at the door and realise that I'm not just doing this for myself, this is for my son as well, he deserves a healthy mum so if it means spending a little bit less time with him of an evening, then that's a price I have to pay for now. Thankfully he is a ridiculously independent little boy and I'm sure barely notices that 'mimmy' isn't there for an hour in the evenings!!!
So that brings me to today. 11 weeks ago I signed up for Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation. I had high hopes and I started off with all guns blazing. Then I got sick. Then I went on a cruise. These things didn't see me gain weight, but I didn't lose any either and I kinda ended up behind where I wanted to be. There is still another week left in this round and so far I have lost 5.2kg in those 11 weeks. Not bad, but not where I wanted to be. So I've signed up for Round 4 and NOTHING will stand in my way! I am currently about 9kg above the lightest weight I reached with weight watchers a couple of years ago and I would LOVE to get rid of that in this round. My ultimate goal weight is 18kg away and this time it's going to happen, and it's going to be forever!
One of the committments I'm making to myself is to keep this blog up to date. In the past it held me accountable. Despite not even knowing if anyone read it, just putting it out there made me responsible. I'm determined to give this round my all, and finally be the person I want to be, inside and out.
A lot has changed in those 2 years, 2 months and 19 days. Last post I mentioned I was pregnant. Well that pregnancy is now a nearly 20 month old beautiful boy! He is the absolute light of my life and I truly can't imagine life without him. I wonder all the time what I used to do to fill my days before he came along!!!
There were a lot of reasons I stopped blogging. Mainly, it was a weight loss blog and being pregnant I obviously wasn't going to be doing any of that! But another reason was a lot of the personal turmoil I went through during my pregnancy. When I was about 20 weeks, my husband and I separated. Thankfully we got back together not long after and remain so now, but the reasons behind it completely threw me and changed everything about the way I felt about myself. I felt I wasn't good enough, I felt I didn't deserve to be happy, to be fit and slim. Whilst I didn't gain that much during the pregnancy itself (maybe 10kg and a lot of that was fluid....I was still puffy 2 weeks after his birth!!), the year of maternity leave took its toll. I was home alone with a baby that didn't like to sleep much during the day (thank god he did of a night, small mercies!) and felt like I was worthless as anything other than a mother. In that year I gained a further 7kg. It's taken me a really long time to get to the point where I finally feel that I do bloody well deserve to be happy in my own skin and I deserve to look good! It's also taken me a really long time to leave the mummy guilt at the door and realise that I'm not just doing this for myself, this is for my son as well, he deserves a healthy mum so if it means spending a little bit less time with him of an evening, then that's a price I have to pay for now. Thankfully he is a ridiculously independent little boy and I'm sure barely notices that 'mimmy' isn't there for an hour in the evenings!!!
So that brings me to today. 11 weeks ago I signed up for Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation. I had high hopes and I started off with all guns blazing. Then I got sick. Then I went on a cruise. These things didn't see me gain weight, but I didn't lose any either and I kinda ended up behind where I wanted to be. There is still another week left in this round and so far I have lost 5.2kg in those 11 weeks. Not bad, but not where I wanted to be. So I've signed up for Round 4 and NOTHING will stand in my way! I am currently about 9kg above the lightest weight I reached with weight watchers a couple of years ago and I would LOVE to get rid of that in this round. My ultimate goal weight is 18kg away and this time it's going to happen, and it's going to be forever!
One of the committments I'm making to myself is to keep this blog up to date. In the past it held me accountable. Despite not even knowing if anyone read it, just putting it out there made me responsible. I'm determined to give this round my all, and finally be the person I want to be, inside and out.
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