The start of the rest of my life

Ok, so here goes for my first ever blog! I guess it'll be a long one to get my background out of the way!

As you can see from my profile, my name is Emma, I'm 27 years old and I am embarking on the most difficult and most important journey of my life. Losing weight and getting 100% fit and healthy!

So what leads me to this point? Well, a number of factors really. I saw some photos of myself from my work christmas party a little while ago, and whilst I've been overweight for a while, it never usually showed in my face in photos, but it had started to and I was devastated. My hubby and I are planning on going to Europe next year, and I'll be damned if I'm going to look back at hundreds of photos of me being fat and unhealthy. I'm sick of not being able to walk into ANY shop I want and know things will fit. And I'm also just sick of not being able to do all the things I want to because I'm too unfit. I used to be a great swimmer, now I don't even swim anymore. I used to play touch football and netball, I don't do that anymore either. I guess one of the most important reasons is that in a couple of years my hubby and I will probably start thinking about starting a family, and I don't want to be a bad example to my kids.

I have been overweight for years now, probably 7 years. People say that the weight creeps up on them, but it didn't for me. I know exactly the moment when I started to put on weight. I was 19 and I'd just moved out of home and in with my boyfriend (now hubby). Not knowing how to cook healthily wasn't my problem - I love to cook and I used to cook a few nights a week when I was living at home. But we were definitely in that early stage of domestic bliss. We had also only been together for a few months when we moved in together so we were also in that early stage of the relationship bliss!! We would stay in all weekend, only venturing out to get biscuits, chips, chocolate...you name it, we would eat it! I also changed jobs around this time, so instead of walking 15 minutes each morning and night to the station, and then walking around the city all day, I was walking 5 minutes to the bus stop, and sitting on my butt all day so the incidental exercise basically stopped! I could see the weight coming on, but I just don't think I cared enough to actually do anything about it. I just kept buying the next size up in clothes. Family (in particular my dad), kept telling me I was gaining weight, but I would just ignore them. It's definitely true that no one else can motivate you to start the journey to lose weight, you have to be ready yourself, and for whatever reason, I wasn't.

When I got engaged, I started lite and easy. I lost a fair few kilos for my wedding, but I was still overweight. Thankfully though I don't cringe when I look at my wedding photos, I know I looked good dammit! I've also tried weight watchers over the years - the most I ever lost was about 15kgs, and I started to look really good, but for some reason I gave up. To this day I have no idea why. I would usually start when I had something coming up, a wedding or something, then as soon as the day had passed, I would go back to old habits. I did the exact same thing as recently as 6 months ago. One of our best friends got married, and my hubby was a groomsmen. He had to lose a bit of weight to fit into the next size down vest, as the next size up was too big, so he started exercising and eating well, and I started lite and easy again. I lost about 15kgs again. Yet sadly in the space of 6 months, and with christmas, a trip to the Hunter Valley (including cheese, wine and a 8 course degustation dinner!) and my birthday in between then and now, I gained it all back, plus a couple of extra kilos, so quickly!

So nearly 3 weeks ago, my workplace started the Weight Watchers at Work program. What a fantastic idea! So I took myself off at lunch time on Wednesday February 13th for my first weigh in. I weighed in at 131.1 kgs. The heaviest I have ever been. Instead of feeling sad, or sorry for myself, I had a new sense of motivation and determination that I've never had before when I've tried to lose weight. I hopped off the scales and new I just HAD to do this. I truly feel this is my last chance to get this under control, and I actually WANT to this time. I've wanted to in the past, but I don't think my head, heart and soul were all in it together. My hubby even says he notices something different about me this time. I haven't mentioned at all in 3 weeks what I can't have, I haven't daydreamed about food, I haven't whinged about having to go to the gym. I have had 15g of dark chocolate in that time, and I truly didn't want anymore, no mean feat for a chocoholic! It means a lot to me that he is supporting me, and he always has in the past, but there is also something different with the way he is supporting me this time. He is dangling rewards in front of me, which is also really spurring me on.

So tomorrow is my 3rd weigh in and I've lost 2.3kgs in 2 weeks. I lost 2.7kgs in my first week, and then gained 0.4kgs last week. I did everything right, but as it was just before TTOM, I have put it into perspective and not beat myself up too much. I just wasn't ready for a gain so early, even if the reasons were completely out of my control! I'm hoping for a really good loss tomorrow, maybe even 1.7kgs if I can somehow jag it to take my total to 4kgs. I might be asking too much, but as I've exercised like a demon this week, had no alcohol and eaten well every single day, I'm hoping I can do it! Fingers crossed!!!